The Bones-Prewett Clan

by **thegirlnamedcrow** Fri Feb 06, 2015 4:41 pm

You want me to talk about my siblings? Merlin, which one? I’ve got far too many to choose from; you’ll have to be more specific. Oh, all of them? Really? Okay, but this is going to take a while…

I guess Gus goes first, doesn’t he? Being the first-born and all that. Or is Gabriel technically the first born, because…

Okay, let me explain. We had this big serious family meeting a few years ago when Mum and Dad told us that Gus wasn’t really dad’s real son, and that Gus’s real dad was Mum’s stupid creepy Death Eater ex-boyfriend who’s apparently now in Azkaban. Who knew Mum had such bad taste in men before Dad, eh? Seriously, I don’t know where that woman thinks she’s coming from, lecturing me about safe sex when she let her stupid creepy Death Eater ex-boyfriend knock her up when they weren’t even married. Merlin. The nerve of that woman.

But that doesn’t even really matter, does it? Because Gus is still my brother, and Dad is still Gus’s dad, even if he wasn’t around for all the icky stuff with Mum. Honestly, the biggest surprise is that it’s Mum who’s his real mum, not Dad who’s his real dad, because Gus is far too excellent to not be a real Prewett.

But anyway, I’m getting off-topic, aren’t I? Gus is just great. I know, I know I’m not supposed to have a favourite sibling, but Gus is definitely my favourite. He’s always been really nice to me, and he does pranks with me on Hermia and steals me sweets from the kitchen and lets me stay up past my bedtime when he’s looking after us when Mum and Dad aren’t around. He practises Quidditch with me too, sometimes, and he’s not bad! Not as good as Gabriel or Charlie or Ron’s friend Harry, but he’s really not as bad as he thinks he is! No, Gus is just a real stand-up bloke, and if any girl breaks his heart I will set her on fire.

I’m really not kidding about that.

Then there’s Gabriel. Now, Gabriel’s a funny one. He’s really good at Quidditch, which should make himexcellent, but then he goes and acts like he’s too cool to hang around with his kid sister. Well, the joke’s on him, because there was this one time when I absolutely destroyed him in a Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. You should have seen his face – he was so mad. Dad was so proud of me – he said something about Gabriel needing to get knocked down a few pegs.

But really, Gabe’s not bad at all. He’s gotten much better as he’s grown up – he’s much nicer to me these days. I think Gus might’ve had a word with him about it, or maybe Dad did, but he actually plays Quidditch with me sometimes, and he doesn’t ignore me anymore when we cross in the hallways. He’s a good guy, Gabriel, and I’m proud he’s my brother.

Elena comes after him, and her? Lainey’s just great. I swear, that girl’s a sodding saint; she’s going to have a hospital named after her one of these days, just like St Mungo, whoever that is. But Lainey is super nice to everyone, and she never gets cross and yells at me the way Hermia does when I do something to annoy her. She’s like… Well, if Mum weren’t a mum, that’s what she’s like.

Though, I’m really jealous that Dad decided to name her after his broom and not me. She doesn’t even play Quidditch!

And then there’s Hermia. Let me tell you the thing about Hermia. So, a long time ago when dragons roamed the earth and Dad was born, the universe decided that he was too excellent for there to be just one of him, so they made him a twin and gave him Uncle Gideon. And Uncle Gideon is just great; he and Dad have so much fun together. They act like little kids when they’re together; it drives Mum crazy.

Okay, so fast-forward (that’s a Muggle term Ron’s girlfriend taught me – it’s good, isn’t it?) to when I was born. So, Dad’s excellent, and so of course he had to go and make enough kids to conquer a sodding country if that’s what he wanted, And then he gets to me, and obviously I’m excellent, and so the universe decides to give me a twin too.

And then, somehow, I ended up with Hermia. What the hell, universe.

Enough said.

And finally, there’s Martin. Dear, sweet Martin. He’s the baby of the family, and I just adore little Marty. When he was just a wee thing I used to dress him up in my old clothes – he made such a pretty girl!

I wonder if that’s why he’s gay.